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Resurrection in Albemarle County Resurrection in Albemarle County They say dig two graves before you stalk the ambrosial prize of revenge, and I did, until my own grave appeared sweeter, so I've come here to the mountain to hunt the reclusive angels I suspect horde serenity for cases like me, but so far I've only been baptized by waves of wind and accepted into the order of everyday wonders, even the sassafras, the breathing field, the violets, closer to any prayer I've ever attempted. Yes, the world broke us, and we can't unhear it or unsee it and we certainly can't unfeel it and there's no dismantling a tower so tightly packed with rage. A weathered flag hangs with defiance from a dozing gray barn below the skyline— the wheeling crows aren't impressed, and the colors of freedom look unconvincing next to the evening sky: a commotion of phosphorescence and peace. A grander finale could not be of this world, but still no angels, no rest. So what's it like to to step out of the snickering riddle of day and into the perfection of nothing? No wings, no answers needed there, just an unremarkable and wandering now— a motionless flight in all directions. But still I'd rather thirst than drink the courage . . . So close. Over there is a gift, a life actually, tethered to unabashed joy and also its shadow; after all, it's one current, one Universe, one thought. The only catch: Forgiveness is the only bridge out of here. And all of Heaven holds its breath. So do the finches and wrens in a cathedral of sound; so do the mountains with their countless shades of happiness, still unmoved in godly indifference; so do the insects screeching in and out of shadow worlds; also the territories of soul we have to believe in or nothing makes sense. No, I won't do it for my enemies, but I will for the satin rest I deserve, for the merciful death of blistering blame, for a heart that doesn't claw and twist itself to death a thousand times a day. I take a step, and I can see for the first time in years. Patricia Joan Jones © patriciajj1 - all rights reserved. |
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Last Five© Resurrection in Albemarle County |
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