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The groundhog left muddy footprints
On mama's front porch,
We looked out tha window
And paw's truck was torched.

Grandmaw's bra went missing
Off tha clothes line,
Grandpaw just got kicked
Right in his behind.

That fat lil critter
Ain't nuthin' but trouble,
We's gunna have ta git the gun
An' turn 'im into a pile of rubble.

He went up ta my sissy's bedroom
An' tied her hair in a knot,
That fuzzy lil critter
Jus' has ta be caught.

Why, just today
I was in tha outhouse,
Tryin' ta go fer a crap
With dirty water, I got doused.

That nasty darn critter
Ain't gunna see what's comin',
When we catch 'im by tha tail
We's gunna give his hairy butt, a good strummin'.

What an adventureous day
We's had, that critter's a real misfit,
I knows the state police is gunna call
And we's gunna tell 'em, the groundhog did it.

Copyright Cynthia Jones
Feb.2/2006