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Poet: thelifeofme

Hi I am Rachel and I write when I feel like it not when people want me too and I don't do it very often.
My main points are focused on people I like and love, people I hate, cutting, bulimia, abuse, and things that I feel. All kinds of abuse, big abuse, little abuse, Family abuse, relationship abuse and any other abuse. Some of these poems are from personal experience but a lot of them are from friends stories too. Tell me your story and I will tell you a poem. I will tell the world for you and never once have to reveal who you are.
About the Author
Me? You want to know about me? What is wrong with you crazy person? I am not that interesting but, well I am Rachel, Rae, Raely or what ever you want to call me. I am 18 and live in Wyoming. Yuck! I have a interesting life and a lot of what I write is not about me. It is usually for other people and how they effect my life and cause it to be good or bad. I am a generally happy person but don't get on my bad side... I am a realist who is honest about stuff. My poems are a mix of happy, funny, sad, and weird... Most of them are about a lady I care deeply about and she knows who she is... I just started this site although I do have others that are pretty old... I hope you like it.
News
OK so a lot of crap happens in my life that not even I want to listen to so I will check in with exciting things every so often... No much yet obviously...

Today I saw her and guess what oh guess what! I told her, she didn't seem to care to much but I don't blame her... I didn't tell her everything I should have but I will get there someday. I hope...

Yesterday I got back from the hospital, I am getting worse, I could not move the lower half of my body for over 3 hours. They promised that it would get better and I hope they are right, I have to or I am going to die.

I didn't tell her but I will! I promise I will, I have too...

I am going to see her again soon and I will tell her for sure next time, I will not be a chicken. I don't like the idea of being an flightless bird...

Mrs. Smith and I talked today and it was good because we really have not done that in a while... She insists I start writing again so I just started again. I have written a lot in the last few days so just let it set in your head for a while... To much thinking can hurt your brain! I couldn't tell her, I was too embarrassed to even try.

Today I feel better, I am going to see Mrs. Smith tomorrow and am really excited, I don't think I will tell her yet.

Yesterday I couldn't get out of bed, my body was to weak to move so I just sat there, waiting and listening to my radio. I need to get better.

Today the Doc put a needle in my arm for 20 minutes of medicine, they told me no more sports and that I would become really weak on a few days. I hope not, I have lots of stairs in my school!

I woke up today and my ankles wouldn't work right so now I wear braces somtimes to help them, the doctors still don't understand what is wrong. I hope they figure it out soon...

I got another cat scan today and no improvement so they are putting me on medicine and hope it gets better. They think I have little tumors in my brain but they are not 100% sure, I hope not...

I got a catscan today and the doc said my head is weird, that the color is not right and I am starting to get scared. He thinks it is not much and that I should be fine. I hope so.

Okay so I went to the doctor today and he said there is something wrong with my back again. He thinks that I might have a slipped disk. I hope not that would SUCK!



I wish I could be happier, simple as that...

OK so today Shelby had her little girl because she was being stupid but hey I can't say she is any worse then me because I throw up too but what can you do? I don't have to worry about killing a kid. She asked me to write a song for her so I did...


I want to rip out your heart Daddy.
But I can't because you don't have one.
I've learned a lot about Life now Daddy...
I'm angry and I'm entitled to be!

You left me alone, Daddy, to do a big person's job.
You robbed me of my childhood Daddy.
Now, all I do is sob.
I don't remember sitting on your lap Daddy,

....or you telling me that you care.
I don't remember good night kisses Daddy
Or you brushing my curly brown hair.
I don't remember walks in the park Daddy,

Or you reading me stories at night.
I want to rip out your heart Daddy;
I think I just might, but it wouldn't be right!
Why didn't you leave me alone Daddy,

Why'd I have to clean up the vomit and beer?
I want to make you as vulnerable Daddy....
And then, maybe Then, you could hear
The deep dark wailing I cry till I sleep;

The tears that won't go away.
You had me do your job Daddy;
And for this, a strong price I pay.
I don't know how to play Daddy

I only know how to smile.
I need the love of a daddy, Daddy;
And for this, I've searched many miles.
But I still don't know how to be a child?

You created me daddy did you know
That in me, is a part of YOU?
You ruined your little girl....how could you?
I want to be able to forgive you Daddy.

I want to say it's all right....
But instead, I try to be a kid again Daddy!
And forgive you? Oh no...not this night!!!
A lifetime of pain you left me Daddy,

Because you were too blind to see....
The damage you've done; I feel so abused....
Now what does that say about me?
No what does that say about you, Daddy....

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