AS I SIT HERE IN THIS OLD OUT-HOUSE
WAITING FOR NATURE TO TAKE ITS COURSE
I LOOKED AROUND AND WONDERED...
WHERE THE HELL IS THE DANG OLE TOILET PAPER
THE DOOR IS OPEN AND I COULD SEE
EVERYONE LOOKING AT ME
AS ONE WALKED BY
AND I ASKED WHY...
THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER AND I JUST WANTED TO CRY
I LOOKED AROUND AND EVERYONE WAS GONE
I GOT OFF THE SEAT WITH MY PANTS STILL DOWN
AND PICKED SOME LEAFS UP OFF THE GROUND
I PROCEEDED TO WIPE WITH THOSE DANG OLE LEAFS
NOW IN MY TRUCK I STARTED TO ITCH
AND SON-OF A-B--CH I KNEW RIGHT THEN...
THOSE LEAFS I USED
WAS DAMN...OLE POISON IVY